You Already Have What I Need
My oh my, another Mission Focus gone by. Let me just say, I personally feel so much closer to all of you. For those four days we laughed, cried, committed light arson, and fell ill all in unison. I can joyfully declare that I have tasted of the unity that Christ prayed for his church to have (John 17:21), and I thank you all for making that possible. Yet it is by reason of the words of the still small voice of the Lord that I believe Mission Focus 2023 will remain memorable for me for years to come. The Lord used every sermon, break out session, and many reflective conversations to build upon lessons he was already teaching me.
The word I heard from the Lord over this last Mission Focus that I wish to share with you all is this: You already have what I need you to give.
“How was I to truly give in a way that meant something?”
The summer of 2023, as my family was transitioning to be in the states for the next 18 months, we had the pleasure of staying with the Miller family for a couple weeks. I always enjoy the intriguing spiritual conversations I get into with Chris and Emily Miller, and this particular summer Chris made a point that caught my attention. He said that if we truly believe the biblical principle “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35), then the most blessed part of the Abrahamic Covenant was not “I will bless thee” but “thou shalt be a blessing” (Genesis 12:2). The point was well made, and a desire to receive the greatest blessing of all took hold. I began praying that God would place me in the position of the giver.
I felt great pressure over this point of prayer because God had already blessed me abundantly and I know that “unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required” (Luke 12:48). (Yes, that famous line from Spider-Man is a complete rip-off from Luke.) All of us who attend CAYA or any Living Faith Fellowship church have been blessed beyond measure in terms of access to biblical equipping and pastoral support. It is an incredible thing but, while trying not to sound like we are complaining about owning solid gold shoes, I’ve noticed many of us struggle with the idea of how to fully utilize what we have been given. With all that we have, how will we ever be able to sufficiently give back?
Compounding the issue for me personally was the asymmetrical reality of my capabilities to my resources. I happen to be a financially broke and disorganized college student attempting to figure out life. Yet I have access to more spiritual wealth than I know what to do with. So as I continued to pray “Lord, put me in the position of the giver,” what I was really praying was “Lord, make me better so that I am capable of giving in a way that will make what I have been given worthwhile.” The months went on, and I felt illogically frustrated when God didn't transform me into a rich, hyper-productive genius capable of solving the world's problems. That seemed to be the only way that I would be able to give God a good return on the spiritual investment he had given me. How was I to truly give in a way that meant something?
“I need not stall my giving because I feel unable to give enough, but rather need to give all of what little I have”
God gave me an answer the first night of Mission Focus.
The sermon that began Mission Focus was by Pastor Jay Schug, and titled “The Character that Qualifies your Callin.” I was not aware how well the sermon applied to me until Pastor Schug began to speak of the Macedonian believers. They were saints who had given “beyond their power” from a place of “deep poverty” and were capable of doing so because they “first gave their own selves to the Lord” (2 Corinthians 8:1-5). I was struck. Here I was wasting time bemoaning my own inadequacies and the Macedonian believers were giving financially while in deep poverty. Just like us, they had received great spiritual investment, and just like me — I cannot speak for you — they did not have a ton to give back physically. In spite of that, they wasted no time waiting to be in a better position to give all.
On a purely practical level, if the Macedonian believers can give financially (beyond tithes), so can a broke college student. I can at the very least give up my expensive coffee shop habit and donate that to missions. All the same, it is not the financial aspect of the lesson that grabbed me but the overall principle: if I will give of my own self to God, he can enable me to give beyond my power out of the poverty of my capabilities. I need not stall my giving because I feel unable to give enough, but rather need to give all of what little I have. So what do I have (other than coffee shop money)?
Later in the week, God answered that question too. What I have to give is whatever is in my hand (shout out to Cheryl Miles). The answer came through a lunch hall conversation with Erion and Jonida Vogli (Albanian bible translators). I drew near to ask my burning question about Bible translation and in answering Jonida looked me in the eyes with enticing intensity and imparted a piece of wisdom: anything can be a weapon if you hold it right. Now stick with me here, I know the concept of giving is not often associated with weapons but there is a connection. To make it clearer let us replace the word weapon with “tool.” The dilemma on the table is how to convert great blessing to great giving, and God can use any tool we have in our hand to do so. Jonida explained to me that she felt able to engage with the incredible work of Bible translation because she was confident that God could use whatever little we had to give.
“I have been blessed with the greatest blessing of all, the ability to give”
A perfect example, that Jonida referenced, can be found in John 6. There was a crowd of five thousand people who received the unimaginable spiritual blessing of hearing Jesus Christ himself teach. When the need of hunger arose, one of the recipients, a young boy, offered up his lunch. That was what was in his hand. It was an embarrassingly small and unromantic gift considering what he had just been given. However, once the offering was in Christ's hands, it was able to feed all five thousand people! Here is our answer for sufficient giving in light of great blessing. The way to translate great blessing to great giving is as simple as 2 Corinthians 8:12 “For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.” If we hold whatever we have with a willing mind, God can use it to allow us to give greatly, whether that be to the people beside us or the mission at large.
Overall, I think what I gained from this particular Mission Focus lesson was relief. I was given a rare gift with the particular word I received from the Lord, an exhortation to do more combined with permission to relax. Relax emotionally that is. I want to give everything to the Lord and to the mission. Thinking about the spiritual war unfolding before us fills me with zeal and knowing how greatly God has blessed me creates a desire to provide some grand romantic gesture to demonstrate my devotion. I had been praying for God to put me in the position of the giver, thinking that I did not currently have access to it because I hadn’t done anything great. What God has shown me is that I am already giving, and have the ability to give so much more if I will just be content and faithful enough to use all of what little I have.
I have pondered what tools I have in my hand to give, and would encourage you to do the same. My partial list is: I can give of myself, my time, my prayers, my coffee shop money, my spoken and written words. I have been blessed with the greatest blessing of all, the ability to give. On paper my resources are still small, but if God accepts our giving based on what we have then I have the perfect amount. It turns out I already had what I needed to give (Deuteronomy 32:30). It really is like that old Keith Green song...
Just keep doing your best and pray that it's blessed
Jesus takes care of the rest
Madison Clark is a student in the United Kingdom, and has been a part, along with her family, of the work of planting Crossroads Baptist Church in London, England.
