Impact of Discipleship: Celia Harris
“I didn’t know them very well, but they instantly showed their love to me”
I signed up for discipleship because I knew that was the next step. I had grown up in Midtown, and I took all the steps that I thought were right. I put my faith in Christ when I was five, was baptized at eight, then did mentorship when I was in sixth grade, then again when I was a junior in high school. The next natural step in my life was to sign up and be discipled, but when I started, I did not actually have a heart to grow closer to the Lord. He had to use the year and a half of my life to completely change my life, my heart, and my care to know Him.
I was paired with Lorena Reyes and Jeannine Aigaer, and I will forever be thankful for how God blessed me by putting them in my life. I didn’t know them very well, but they instantly showed their love to me. My life was transitioning pretty quickly, and it was very overwhelming as I was graduating high school, leaving the student ministry (a class of about 40 people), and transitioning to C&YA (then about 150 people), and going the University of Kansas for college the fall of 2021. Satan used these moments to make me feel like I was alone, didn’t fit in, and shouldn’t be at Midtown. All of these thoughts confused me. I stopped believing that God loved me, or even cared about me. Throughout all of this, Lorena and Jeannine were always there teaching me what the Bible says and helping me as much as they could, even though I was not very open with them.
I took this semester of school to abuse my liberty in Christ, doing whatever I wanted to fill a new void that I had. While at KU, I fully dove into the world and wanted to live like the lost people that were around me, all while going through discipleship. By the time I realized how far I had walked away, I didn’t feel like I could go back to God.
Mat 18:12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? 13 And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that [sheep], than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. 14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.” I was able to see that God still wanted me to come back to him while I felt unworthy, insecure, ashamed, and unloved, I started to see God’s love for me shine through. I saw that everything I was doing was grieving the Spirit.
Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
“I was relearning the importance of reading my Bible, and how to have a relationship with the Lord”
I came back for winter break and the Lord used Mission Focus 2021-2022 to show me I was being double-minded. James Fyffe spoke on the first night, and a verse that stood out to me was James 1:8 “A double minded man [is] unstable in all his ways.” I saw that I was not being truthful with the Lord, myself, and my discipler. Due to the pattern of my double-mindedness, I was wrecking my life and everything I knew I was supposed to be doing because I wanted to live in my flesh. After this, my life took a 180. I gave my life completely to the Lord and saw that there is no other way to live.
2 Cor 4:18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen [are] temporal; but the things which are not seen [are] eternal.
As my life started to make a huge shift we went through lesson 12 of discipleship, which is about the will of God. After going through a season of living for myself, God used this to show me his ways are truly greater than my own. This specific lesson opened my eyes, because I had always believed that God had a plan for my life, but I thought my plan was still better. It showed me that I just need to follow Him and He will guide me.
Psa 119:105 Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
I was relearning the importance of reading my Bible, and how to have a relationship with the Lord. Lorena and Jeannine were such a help during this time, just teaching me how to be present with Jesus. I learned how to trust God with everything, not just with the things that made sense, but also the things that seem like nothing and the ones that seem like everything.
Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
“Discipleship has changed my life”
While we were nearing the end of discipleship I realized that I wasn’t letting myself accept God’s love. I felt that since I walked away from Him for a season in my life, I couldn't accept His love, grace, mercy, and goodness. For months as I was trying to grow I was still clinging onto my old man, trying to fix it and carry the burdens I had.
Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Eph 1:6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Lorena showed me these verses, and I slowly started to understand and accept that God does love me, that I don’t have to keep my old man on, and that I am a new creature in Christ. Jesus had paid for all my sins on the cross.
2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Discipleship has changed my life. God used it to bring me closer in a way I never thought I could be. My disciplers were a huge example and help with this, showing how God is with me and there is no way better way without Him.
Celia Harris is a member of Midtown Baptist Temple and is a part of C&YA. She serves on the C&YA hospitality team and is a part of an FOI Bible study.
