Today we’re going to look into the subject of spiritual fatherhood. You may ask yourself, “What in the world is that? And why should I listen to you speak on this subject?” These are fair questions. As for the latter, I hope to speak as much from scripture as I could ever hope to speak from experience, so that the authority is God’s word and not my opinions. As for what spiritual fatherhood is, I think we first need to establish whether there is even a biblical precedent for the topic before we get into the nitty gritty.

“Spiritual fatherhood, when done right, must encompass the role of a teacher”

So... is there a biblical model or precedent for spiritual fatherhood? Is it even a thing? The answer, of course, is yes—otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about it.

To avoid getting too bogged down with the backdrop for spiritual fatherhood in the age of grace, we’ll first attempt to summarize the matter by acknowledging the fact that Adam is called “the son of God” in scripture — a direct creation of God without earthly parents (Luke 3:38). God then gives Adam and Eve the mission of producing children that would retain the spiritual integrity of God’s direct creation, but sin got in the way. Nevertheless, God is a Father who desires many children, and he still desires to fill the earth with worshippers despite their fallen state. If we fast forward to the New Testament, we are told that believing on Jesus Christ’s finished sacrifice is the way you and I are granted the power to become the sons of God (John 1:12-13). Through belief in Jesus Christ, fallen human beings can be born into God’s family and obtain a new spiritual nature.

This is where spiritual fatherhood comes in. Just like physical children need to be trained up and nurtured, so also do God’s spiritual children require affection, protection, and instruction. Though the new believer in Jesus Christ is born totally free and forgiven, their time on earth will be filled with trials and tribulations that they need to be prepared for. Furthermore, the child of God is not born into God’s family simply to enjoy their newfound spiritual life — they are also born into the body of Christ to labor in the mission of Christ on earth. Just like physical children are raised with an end in mind — that they might also be sent out and start their own families — God’s children are to be trained up so that they can go and repeat the same process of investment in the lives of others.

The above explains the process of spiritual birth, investment, and reproduction, but it doesn’t necessarily prove the premise that there is such a thing as a spiritual father. As a result, we’ll now attempt to answer the question “What is a spiritual father?” while demonstrating that there is indeed such a thing in scripture.

Perhaps the most robust example of a spiritual father-son relationship in scripture (besides the obvious example of Jesus Christ and the Father) is that of Paul and Timothy. In fact, Paul repeatedly refers to Timothy as his son. In Paul’s first preserved letter to Timothy, he calls Timothy his “own son in the faith.” There is obviously a spiritual father-son relationship that’s being referenced. In the second and last inspired letter to Timothy, Paul calls him his “dearly beloved son.”

From the beginning of their relationship, Paul took Timothy alongside him in the ministry and modeled the work of the ministry for Timothy. In these letters, Paul had the great honor of putting to writing the many things that he had both modeled and spoken to Timothy throughout their dynamic spiritual relationship with the express purpose of teaching him what it meant to be a shepherd.

However, there is another dimension of spiritual fatherhood that Paul speaks of in scripture. In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthian church, he writes: “For though ye have ten thousand instructors yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.” Here, Paul directly ties many of those at Corinth to his own spiritual lineage in Christ Jesus. In other words, these were individuals that Paul shared the gospel with personally and brought up in the faith. Paul says something very similar in his letter to Philemon: “I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds.” Again, this was not someone brought forth through Paul’s physical seed. Rather, Onesimus was born again spiritually through Paul’s ministry of the seed of the word of God. Just as any good earthly father follows through in the upbringing of his sons and daughters, Paul was faithful to continue in the work that he started by ensuring that his spiritual children were taken care of.

Just as there are father figures in our day-to-day lives that are not our true earthly fathers, it’s important to note that acting as a spiritual father in the lives of others does not necessitate that the gospel was first delivered to them directly through that father figure. After all, those who plant the seed of the word of God are not the true spiritual father of those who receive it — they are simply ministers of the word of God the Father. That said, we should all desire to be used of God in such a way that we can both plant and water the seed of God’s word in the lives of others.

With this in mind, what does it actually look like to be a spiritual father in the lives of others? Before we dive head first into that discussion, we need to address a couple things.

First, if you are a woman, you are not excluded from this discussion. The paradigm of “father and son” is used here because both God the Father/Jesus the son and Paul the father/Timothy the son in the faith are males. Furthermore, those who are born again are called “sons of God.” However, Paul himself uses feminine language to describe his investment of the word of God in other’s lives (see 1 Thessalonians 2:7-9). In other words, for practical purposes, you can simply think “spiritual parenting” when you see “spiritual fatherhood.”

Second, we’re actually going to start by answering another question that will serve to contextualize our investigation: “How is a spiritual father different than a teacher?” Many of us are involved in the work of discipleship — the transfer of spiritual life from one person to another as they both follow Jesus Christ. The word “disciple,” in and of itself, simply means “learner,” and when the work of discipleship is done in the flesh, all that ever really takes place is the transmission of information through a series of lessons. This is one of many reasons why it’s incredibly important that we answer the question of how fathers and teachers differ, and thankfully, the answer is actually very simple. Spiritual fatherhood, when done right, must encompass the role of a teacher. However, while teachers can be fathers, more often than not, they are simply teachers.

Let’s be incredibly clear: Neither is inherently bad, and there is a necessity for both in the lives of spiritual children. After all, a father has work to do, and he can’t be at home 24/7 to ensure that the spiritual child is learning everything he or she needs to learn at all times. Therefore, it is both desirable and necessary that he employ trusted teachers in the lives of his children. In a ministry context, the parallel is very simple. Godly pastors, Bible study leaders, and disciplers understand that “it takes a village” to bring up a child of God (see Ephesians 4). However, this does not exclude the necessity for godly spiritual fathers, and the way that Paul distinguishes between fathers and teachers in 1 Corinthians 4:14-16 is both vital to our understanding and challenging to consider:

1 Cor. 4:14-16 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you. 15, For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. 16, Wherefore I beseech you, be ye followers of me.

This passage cuts to the very heart of the matter: teachers abound, but if anything, there is a severe shortage of good spiritual fathers. What’s more, when a son is to choose between his teacher and his father, if they have a good relationship, the natural and reasonable choice for the son to make is to choose his father’s example and path. So why exactly is this challenging, do you ask? Because the weight of spiritual fatherhood is impossible to bear without complete faith in and reliance on Jesus Christ. To consider that we can have the kind of impact on someone’s life that transcends the transmission of information and enters into the realm of envisioning unto transformation and reproduction is an incredibly humbling and fearful truth. Who exactly are we to partake in such matters as these? And yet, despite the awe-inspiring nature of the privilege of spiritual fatherhood, the spiritual father, though he trembles, is not easily overwhelmed. How is this possible? Because he himself knows his Father, and is strong in His grace.

1 John 2:13-14 says: “I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. 14, I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one.”

“Anyone who is or aspires to be a spiritual father to others should trust God to be a lover of souls”

So we’ve talked quite a bit about what a spiritual father is and is not, but we’ve yet to talk much about what a spiritual father actually does. As we pivot toward answering that question, let’s remind ourselves of what a spiritual father’s goal is: A spiritual father possesses spiritual life and invests that life into others to the end that they also would have life in their own self, mature, and go on to raise up spiritual children of their own (John 5:26; 2 Timothy 2:2).

To answer the question of what a spiritual father does, it’s helpful to think about what an earthly father does. I mentioned at the beginning that spiritual children require affection, protection, and instruction, and the same is true of earthly children. Earthly children are to be nurtured with milk and with care, protected from both external and potential self-inflicted harm, and brought up in the way that they should go. As the child continues to grow, the dynamic of each of these domains evolves with the parent-child relationship to the point where, eventually, the father can begin to envision his child for what it will mean for that child to mature and one day start a family of his own.

Now that we have the doctrine out of the way, let’s cut to the chase. What do spiritual fathers do? We’ll use the framework of affection, protection, and instruction to paint the picture, and I’ll trust the Spirit to lead you in how to live these things out as you continue to grow in your faith.

1. Affection

This has to be one of the key markers of any good father, and it’s also one of the key components that distinguishes fathers from teachers. Indeed, before there were ever creations of God, God the Father was in a perfect, harmonious, loving relationship with the Son, and when Jesus was brought into the world as a man, the Father said to His Son: “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Paul knew Timothy very well. Read 2 Timothy chapter 1. He longed after him, and he knew his family like his own. Paul brought Timothy with him all the time in ministry. This wasn’t merely a clever ministry strategy — Paul made time to be with Timothy because he desired and enjoyed his company. This is actually the same relationship we have with God. God obviously has an end in mind. He obviously wants to further ministry. But don’t think for a second that you’re just a pawn in God’s game. God loves you and wants to spend time with you. It’s far more needful and blissful to God that you sit at His feet and be with Him than that you run around “doing ministry.” It is through the bliss and fellowship of sharing in Christ together that God brings forth fruit in our ministries (Psalm 133).

In the same way God’s heart yearns for the souls of men, we ought to trust God to have a relationship with our children in the faith that preaches the love and affection God has for them through the sermons of our lives. We ought to know their family members' names, we ought to keep them in our prayers, we ought to bring them alongside us in ministry (Philippians 2:22), and they ought to know our hearts long to see their faces. Don’t fall prey to the faux masculine image of “tough love” fathering. Yeah, fathers are strong in grace, but they’re not afraid to say “I love you.”

In conclusion, anyone who is or aspires to be a spiritual father to others should trust God to be a lover of souls.

2. Protection

We read it earlier in 1 Corinthians: Pauls' heart was not to shame his sons in the faith—it was to warn them (1 Corinthians 4:14). Make no mistake — fathering is not fun and games. It is a matter of life and death that a father protects his children. Children put their hands on hot stoves, children stick sharp metal things into electrical outlets, and to put it bluntly, children are born crooked and stupid.

Galatians 4:1-3 says “Now I say, That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all; 2, But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father. 3, Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world.” Paul is actually speaking about how the law was a schoolmaster that brought us to Christ, but there’s a simple principle Paul uses to illustrate this that makes my point for me: Children need guardrails.

What does this look like practically? I’m glad you asked. Step 1 after being born isn’t leading a family — it's drinking milk. It follows, then, that before a disciple is to serve in ministry, he/she needs to understand the role of the word of God and the local church in his or her life. This is why we encourage disciples to start to partake in service ministry after they have been established in the worship of God, in the Word of God, and in the local church. Not only is this done for the good of the whole — it's done for their own protection.

Another very practical component to this piece is that of warning. In a spiritual fatherhood context, this can look like warning a recently born-again believer not to become overly entangled with their lost ex. It could look like warning against certain false teachers or teachings. It could look like warning them about how a particular sin pattern could be leading their son in the faith towards destruction.

The examples are countless, but the point is simple: spiritual fathers do not neglect to warn their children in the faith. Let’s trust God to be watchful, intentional, and Spirit-led in our stewardship of souls.

“Fathers don’t provoke and tear down; they build up”

3. Instruction

As stated earlier, spiritual fatherhood, when done right, must encompass the work of teaching and instruction. However, one of the cool things about being a spiritual dad or mom is that you get to do this not only through lessons and discussion — you get to teach through your life! In Romans 4, Paul uses the example of Abraham’s life and testimony, who is a spiritual father figure to all who believe, to instruct the early Roman church in what it means to live by grace through faith. In Hebrews 11, he uses a series of testimonies and stories to illustrate the same point.

In 1 Thessalonians, Paul rehearses his testimony to the church at Thessalonica in the same manner they would attest to: “8, So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us. 9, For ye remember, brethren, our labour and travail: for labouring night and day, because we would not be chargeable unto any of you, we preached unto you the gospel of God. 10, Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe: 11, As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children.”

For Paul, when it came to preaching the gospel and teaching the Word, it was just as important how he lived as it was what he taught to get the message across. It was all part of the teaching process. He was intentional to model the truth he taught; he modeled ministry!

To wrap it all up, let’s touch on how a father teaches in word. Ephesians 6:4 says “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Though this passage is addressed to physical fathers, it has obvious spiritual application. Fathers don’t provoke and tear down; they build up. They nurture, admonish, and edify, building up their children in the faith! Faith is all about confidence in what Christ has done and in what his word says. To close, let’s revisit how John addressed the older and younger men in 1 John 2:13-14: “I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. 14, I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one.”

Notice the contrast between how John addresses fathers and young men. Fathers are addressed in simplicity because of their relationship with God, but young men are intentionally built up in their faith and reminded of their strength and victory through God’s word. Our hearts towards our spiritual children ought to be the same.

In closing, let’s trust God to model ministry through our lives and to build up our children’s faith in Christ’s work and word!

There is so much more to talk about when it comes to spiritual fatherhood, but let’s trust God to learn it day-by-day as we grow in our walk with him and with our spiritual family. I’m trusting God to continue to grow me as a son and a father to the end that many sons might come to glory and be fruitful. Will you join me in that pursuit?

Spiritual Fatherhood