Impact of Discipleship: Rosie Hollis
“I never knew what it was like to let the Word of God heal me and guide me”
A question I got asked before starting discipleship was “What has been your journey so far in pursuing God?” I grew up going to church and knowing who Jesus Christ was, but it wasn’t until I got saved that I knew Him as my savior. Still, I didn’t understand what it meant for Him to have lordship over my life. I felt like I knew of Him, but I did not know Him personally. I lacked intimacy with the Lord and knowing what following Christ really meant. I was confusing those around me by living a double life and compromising what the Word had to say and what my actions were. The Word did not have authority over my life and Christ was not on the throne of my heart.
I signed up for discipleship with no idea what to expect nor would know the significant impact it would have on my walk with the Lord. God blessed me by pairing me with Lisa Cheadle and Kelly Edgar.
I quickly learned that discipleship was not just about 18 lessons. These ladies were loving me and were walking alongside me, just like Jesus did with his disciples. I was apprehensive; I never had someone pour into me like they did. I thought, “Why do they care so much? Surely they’ll leave, doesn’t everyone?” I had many walls up from past hurt that created a bondage of fear which resulted in a struggle to let people in. I never knew what it was like to let the Word of God heal me and guide me. God revealed His love through Lisa and Kelly and began to tear down the walls through his Word.
1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out all fear…”
As we began to meet, I watched Lisa and Kelly, and I saw how the Word was their final authority in their lives. I couldn’t wrap my head around how they could make decisions based on what the Bible said, even when it was hard. I began to ask myself how they could get God’s counsel for situations and how they could understand what he truly was saying. I watched them die to themselves time and time again. Then I was presented with some hard decisions. I had to decide if I would listen to what the Word had to say or the world. I could go back to my old ways or obey His Word. I remember sitting on the floor of Kelly’s apartment one night ready to quit, with the words on the tip of my tongue. I was discouraged, had doubts, and began to question what I was really doing and what discipleship was all about. I had a question in front of me, was Christ worth it? I will never forget that pivotal moment in my walk with the Lord. If I would have run away instead of persevering, I would have limited how God wants to use me for His glory.
Throughout discipleship there were many seasons of trials that would test who my authority was and teach me how to trust and be established in the Word. I was denied by my family and old friend group, my aunt unexpectedly passed away, I had hard decisions to make about my living situation and was feeling extreme heartache. However, God brought me in remembrance of the time in Kelly’s apartment and Philippians 3:10 “that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death.” I learned I was to be separate, be peculiar, and to let go and allow God to work in and through me. I kept going back to Mark 4 relating to the disciples distraught in the boat during the storm while Jesus was asleep. Jesus had promised His disciples they would make it to the other side. I had to ask myself during this season, was I too caught in the storm that I forgot God's promises? Was I trusting his Word? I realized I couldn’t control the circumstances that happened or what others thought of me, but I could cling to His promises and find rest in His Word. I had to get my eyes off myself and look up. Through the mountain tops and valleys, Lisa and Kelly always steered me to his truth and taught me to walk with the Lord and to love the Lord with all my heart, soul and might (Deut 6:5-6).
“My thoughts, my desires, my burdens, and my goals were no longer what they once were”
Luke 10:42 “But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her”
Growing up in a works-based religion and being so competitive, I had an unhealthy view of working for the Lord. Not knowing the Bible nor having a real relationship with the Lord, I thought maybe if I did these things then he would love me. However, that is not the God we serve. As Pastor Sam says, “you can’t out give God.” I was confronted with my works-based view that had trickled into my relationship with the Lord. This led to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted because I was relying on my flesh instead of God. As I began to get established in the Word of God and prayer, I started to see the transformation of what it truly meant to have an intimate relationship with Jesus. I began to see the change in my prayer life and my independence from the Lord turned into a dependence as the Word of God continued to renew my mind and reveal itself to me.
Discipleship was a process of undoing, tearing down walls I had built up, and learning what God's Word had to say, making it the authority of my life while learning the power of prayer. To see God work mightily and answer prayer is one of the sweetest things we can witness. I learned the importance of both the Word and prayer in establishing and building a relationship with Jesus. How could He hear from me if I didn’t talk to Him? How could I hear from Him if I didn’t set aside time to read His Word? I began to find myself prioritizing my quiet time and found my soul thirsting for what God had to say (Psalm 63:1-3). I started to grow a burden for the lost and a passion for the mission and our church plants/missionaries. It was as if someone removed the veil and I began seeing Christ for who He is. Everything around me was staying the same, but I was changing. It reminds me of the song we sing during worship: “You cannot change, yet You change everything.” My thoughts, my desires, my burdens, and my goals were no longer what they once were.
Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path”
It is hard to summarize in a few short paragraphs the impact of discipleship on my life. Discipleship was key and laid the foundations for my walk with the Lord. When I doubt, fear, or have questions, I know that I can turn to the Lord in prayer and that he will give me guidance and counsel through his Word. No words can describe the transformation that occurred and the revival of my heart. It’s as if someone handed me glasses with a biblical lens to now view life. Because of discipleship, I now view the Word as my authority and know its what God has to say, not what I want it to say. I care about the God of the Word and the Word of God. My decisions no longer became about what I think or feel but what the Lord says. I want his opinion, even when a hard decision has to be made. Through discipleship, there was a shift in where my dependence lied. It was not to work God into my plan or agenda but to have complete dependency on his thoughts. After discipleship, I can say my journey in pursuing God has changed. I know the Bible has final authority over my life and the decisions I make must be run through the Word. Jesus Christ is not just my savior, but he has taken lordship over my life and I am indebted to him. Although our lessons have finished, Lisa and Kelly continue to be present in my life. They are my best friends, and I am forever grateful for how the Lord used them and discipleship in my life.
Rosie Hollis is a member of Midtown Baptist Temple and is a part of C&YA. She serves on the Kidtown team and is a part of a women’s Bible study in northeast Kansas City.
